Important to Note
I know my opinion doesn’t speak for everyone. I am going to be hard on this series. I REALLY did not like it.
I rolled my eyes too much. I shouted at my screen too much. And I overall Stanley Hudson-d like a MF.
There’s a solid reason why I tend towards reading, watching, reviewing, and obsessing over slightly dated vampire fiction. And this series exceptionally sums that up for me. Recently I rambled to nausea on my issues with defanging vampires, but that isn’t the entirety of it.
I’m old guard. I like my vampires terrifying, yet appealing, not weird and gross with bits of meat hanging out the sides of their mouths (a la Van Helsing), and not covered in excuses to hide the fact that they are, in essence, a form of bogeyman.
I stand by a simple reasoning for the continuing popular attraction to vampires. The human monster. The core lies in the knowledge that even though vampires walk the walk and talk the talk of any other person, they are monsters. They hide in plain sight as the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing. They make no apologies for what they are and what they need to live. I suppose there is room to argue that some humans apologise every day for what they are, but vampires, in my humblest of opinions, would perceive themselves as a superior species. And old vampires ought to be having none of this apology-crap.
A Discovery of Nope
I’m going to shoot off the obvious reasons why I despised this series:
- Teresa Palmer (Diana Bishop) has the most annoying speech cadence I’ve ever heard, and it does nothing to aid in me perceiving her as a strong character as opposed to a flighty damsel with no discernible redeeming factors.
- Matthew de Clairmont is a bully. He has no real gravitas. Being the strong, controlled type doesn’t make him unique. It just makes him a smug, smarmy jackass.
- The Congregation were not as intimidating as they ought to have been, logically speaking.
- The Demons did nothing throughout the series and I couldn’t begin to fathom why they mattered at all other than as an overt attempt to show a lack of diversity. Because, of course, if writers don’t actively include a statement on the horrors of a world not in touch with diversification these days then the entire critiquing community will come down on them like a rain of angry toads.
- Diana is a flat character whose only growth has nothing to do with her personal decisions.
- Insta-love three weeks into sort of knowing someone is still insta-love, and arguing that their love is, I don’t know, written in the stars or something, should be handled with more brevity.
- The plot device house REALLY made me grind my teeth.
- Need I say much more than “the evil council”?
- Plot device Juliet was equally as annoying as plot device house.
- Joubert was nothing more than a moustache-twirling villain who just has it in for everyone because, oh I don’t know, apparently being a vampire makes everyone into a jackass.
- I had to watch Diana being a jock more times than I got to watch any actual real things that I cared about. Who the hell goes canoeing at night?
Honestly, I can keep going…
There was also this HUGE gripe that I found with the special effects. The rain was cool. The CGI deer was not. Also, Twilight much?
This series was SO Twilight heavy that I had trauma flashbacks. He eats bokkies and is ashamed of what he is. Familiar? She’s special and they’re somehow drawn to each other because he’s… *sigh* … “craving” her.
I really don’t know how I made it to the end of this season. More than once I rolled my eyes so hard that I grew a sudden migraine. In fact, I’m getting one right now. But I’ll fight through the pain, because this has to be said.
Vampires can be love interests without being neutered
Since when do vampires eat some raw meat and then feel ashamed of it?
Why don’t these vampires have fangs?
They don’t suffer any ill effects from walking around in the sun, and they don’t ever have to sleep, so basically even their emotional willpower just keeps going like the Duracell bunny? Also, Twilight did it. Honestly, stop with the Fanfiction. The original wasn’t good, what makes you think this is going to be?
Why do all vampires have to be ashamed of what they are to appeal to the pair of legs they recently fell in “love” with? Yeah, I’ve already said this. It bears repeating. And yes, she is a pair of legs. She is so two-dimensional that it makes me hate things.
So, on a positive note, in spite of the crappy naming option here (Witch Water? Seriously?), the rain scene was cool. Also, the head in a box… Nice touch.
Could have done without the creepy Joubert being a gross, creepy old man thing. Oh, I’m sorry… creepy, WHITE old man (and don’t start with me, this comment was LITERALLY STATED in one of the first congregation scenes), because that’s just the world we live in now, where it’s okay to clamber all over men with blatant misandry and racism and then ham-handedly portraying the white dude as the evil guy with no ulterior motive other than lust for power and generally being a dick.
This doesn’t help any minority plight. It only makes things worse and makes a joke of real issues.
Let’s be clear, guys! Your show is nothing without some political commentary that reeks of common indoctrination and hypocrisy!
In case it was unclear, I hated this show. I hated it with all my heart and soul. I’ve been lamenting the loss of good vampire fiction for a while, and this just made my heart ache for the lack thereof. But let me know what you thought. Maybe I misjudged it. Maybe you can clear some stuff up.
